2013 Is The Year of the Thing: A Parody

monkeys answer the callThis year will be the year of VIDEO and MOBILE! It will also be the year when Facebook finally allows us to copy and paste our own souls onto our timeline. It may also be the year of sending words via your mobile device! Another big thing I predict is that everyone in the world will be using mobile apps. Just wait, they’re going to be HUGE! You will be able to track your ex-boyfriend, balance your bank account, and start your own damn car! It will be fascinating!

Apple will also release a new non-needed but highly wanted device that fits directly into your eardrum. You will never have to listen to people talk in real life again, never! You’ll be too busy inserting your brainwaves onto your Facebook timeline. Also, Google Glass will totally become a thing, so sign up now. Kim Kardashian will start wearing them in August of 2013, so make sure you buy your pair before she does. Then, Kanye will release his own line of Google Glass then Sears will sell them. Then Google Glass will be o-v-e-r.

The Future of Future

You may also want to be on the look out for social networking sites that allow you to cross pollinate your every thought. I know it seems super modern but believe it. In 2013, you’ll be able to share a movie on Path then tell everyone on your 28 different social media platforms. How exciting! I am so thrilled to announce that soon, we will be able to tell the world how hot our bathwater is! Can you even imagine? I mean wow!

Last but not least, I really see 2013 as The Year of the Internet Photographs! People will continue uploading 5,236,657 photos per minute per photo sharing site. You will see pictures of coffee, cats, & cute babies all over the internet! It seems wild but trust me, it’ll happen. Photos will take over! The best part is that we will of course be allowed to directly send these photos to Mark Zuckerberg himself! He will be so happy to receive that photo of your tall soy carmel macchiato!

2013: For Real

Just kidding. Most of the articles floating around are promising us that 2013 is the year of _________! Most of the ideas are already happening. Let’s stop trying to make stupid predictions that only boost our own egos. Things in tech will continue to grow rapidly and become ridiculous. But, we will love and buy them anyway. So hold on, because this year will bring monumental changes to the Internet, probably.

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